Goddamn Brownies

I understand that people do not think of movies the same way as myself. To some people they are just a way to kill a couple of hours and be mildly entertained in the process. Few have respect for the theater going experience anymore, as evident by their rude behavior, talking and such. Something that has always annoyed me is people getting up during a movie, for whatever reason. I witnessed someone recently get to a movie quite a bit early with the family and they were sharing one of the large, refillable, popcorn buckets. They ate as quickly as possible and when the trailers ended and the movie began one of them arose to get more popcorn. Why the hell did they wait until the movie started? Is this not the reason they paid money to get in the theater? The last time I can remember getting up for anything during a movie was during Independence Day in 1996. I never got up during movies but this was a second viewing and I knew what was coming up so I decided to run grab a pickle. I was with a friend and we were near the front of the packed theater and on my way out I slipped on some soda and crashed in front of everyone. There was thunderous laughter and my ass hurt. This was a sign from the movie gods to not get up while the projector is running.

Probably the number one reason people get up during a movie is to go to the bathroom. This is something I have also never understood. Have you no bladder control? I understand there are certain times that when you have to go, you REALLY have to go. I highly doubt all of these people have a very dire situation brewing. Personally there has not been a situation in my memory where I had to go or there would be problems. I even sat through all of Titanic, which I really didn't enjoy, and I had to go pretty bad by the time the credit began to roll (I even stayed during all of them too).

Now it has come to my attention there is a website out there called Run Pee. On this site you can look up a movie and see at which points during any film you should get up to go to the bathroom. It looks like this:



You see the timeline and under it will give you a "vague" description of what happens right before you'll have a couple of minutes to alleviate you bladder. If you want to know what happens during the time you will miss, you can click the box below and the scrambled text will spoil the scene. Many have been raving about this site, and how it is a great tool for movie goers, I, of course, have a problem with this.

Most films are made and put you in a story and they set everything up so that you are caught up in what is on the screen. When you leave the theater, for any reason, all this accomplishes is taking you out of the world the filmmakers spent so long trying to create. Even if you are at a bad flick, like the latest Mike Meyers tragedy, getting up and leaving does not just affect you. There are other people in the theater with you, and when you walk by, in front of, or around them it distracts. I don't spend ten bucks to have you walking in front of me. If you have to go to the bathroom just hold it! If you have poor bladder control, or are going to a longer film (i.e. Lord of the Rings) then don't get the bucket size of soda at the concession stand. It is that simple.

If the website were not enough to piss me off, they have escalated to the next level - an iPhone app. The iPhone is freaking wonderful, and the apps only make it better, but this is a bad idea. All this app does is not only encourage people to get up during the film, but now they are going to pull out their phones while the movie is going and distract those around them with the glow. I see no good coming of this.

Why can't people just sit down, shut up and watch the damn movie?