Goddamn Brownies

A few fellow film fanatics and I decided to get together and watch a few flicks. There were only three of us but between Marcus, Travis and myself we had a good time. Here are the glorious DVDs we viewed.


The Found Footage Festival, Vol 4 - 2009 - Compiled by: Joe Pickett & Nick Prueher
Location: Marcus' Couch
My Contribution

For the uninitiated, the Found Footage Festival is a show put together by two VHS aficionados who seek out the weird and hilarious. Joe and Nick scour thrift stores and garage sales all over the country to amass one of the greatest collections of unintentionally humorous crap. The two do a live show with montages of clips that they speak on and the laughs just begin to roll out of you. After seeing their show a few months ago I have become a lifelong fan and cannot wait for them to return.

Marcus missed out on the show but wanted to see the DVD, which I pre-ordered at their show, so I brought it and we watched it first. The hilarious clips of exercise videos, 80s cartoons, hair and make-up instructionals, erotic subjects, Phyllis Diller's tips for a good garage sale, video dating and many other hold up well for the second viewing. As the other guys can attest we were all rolling over with laughter. There is not much more I can say about this seeing as it's just clips from the bizarre world of VHS tapes, but it is definitely hilarious and worth the money.

More info and semi-daily posted videos can be found on their website, foundfootagefest.com. There you can also buy all four of the volumes and some t-shirts. Buy the newest, Volume 4, here.




2LDK - 2003 - Dir: Yukihiko Tsutsumi
Location: Marcus' Couch
Travis' Contribution

This film was one I realized I had seen before but remembered almost nothing about it, except that it was a film I didn't like. I'm really glad I got the chance to revisit this quick Japanese flick, because it's pretty crazy. The director was in competition with another to make a film with only two characters in a week and this is the film which won. Two aspiring actresses and roommates begin to unravel with jealousy and anger as they await news on a part for which they both auditioned. Each of the girls' bad habits begin to bother the other more than usual and they end up in an epic fight all over their crazy apartment.

This is only about 70 minutes and it uses every second to show the rage each girl has against the other. Some of the acts of vengeance are, while mean, pretty funny. Throwing eggs in the girl's face is one example, while exchanging slaps to the face is another. Don't let the silliness of egg on the face or slapping fool you, the girls get vicious in ways horror fans will enjoy. I wonder if things would have worked out differently if Tsutsumi had more than a week to work on this, but more revision could have detracted from the final product. Grab the DVD here.


Super Soul Brother - 1979 - Dir: Rene Martinez, Jr
Location: Marcus' Couch
Marcus' Contribution

I'm glad to see that Marcus' interest in Blaxploitation seems to have surged after we saw Black Dynamite last weekend. This flick started off as a black Superman but evolved into more of a comedy with a little action. A medical experiment is being done to give superhuman abilities to a normal man in order to rob a jewelry store of ten million in diamonds. The only problem is the chemicals are unstable and the recipient will die within a week. Instead of risking themselves they decide to get a wino from the ghetto and use him. Enter the zany "Wildman" Steve Gallon who talks a lot, and only about a third of it makes any sense.

This film has everything you would want from a Blaxploitation film - bad acting, inexplicable extreme close-ups on half a face, bad dialog and plenty of jargon. The scientific genius behind everything is a white midget named Dr. Dippy who has a very weird accent, a big boobed girlfriend and smokes the weirdest looking cigars I've ever seen. There are so many bad things about this movie that it makes for great fun. The lines said, especially by Wildman, are ridiculous. At one point he complains about the government being against marijuana but for two grown men having sex (HA!). He says that "if you are caught with a joint in your mouth, you better make sure it has two balls on the end of it." Good times indeed.

Like many Blaxploitation films of the era this had different titles and is mostly known by The Six Thousand Dollar Nigger, as seen on the IMDb page. Films of this ilk just loved throwing that word in the title, which makes for some very interesting theme songs at times, but I'll get to that at another time. The other bowdlerized titles include Six Thousand Dollar Super-Brother and The Six Thousand Dollar Black Dude.

This is one that is not easily available on DVD, but if you find it there are plenty of laughs and "what the hell" moments.


Blood: The Last Vampire - 2000 - Dir: Hiroyuki Kitakubo
Location: Marcus' Couch
Travis' Contribution

This last DVD is just over 40 minutes and full of craziness so we had to watch it before calling it a night. This anime is based on a manga of the same name, then they recently released a live action film, directed by Ronny Yu, of the same name. I watched the film and enjoyed it, so I was anxious to see its animated predecessor. Travis has watched this many times and said at the beginning that it doesn't make a bunch of sense and I can see why. According to IMDb this was supposed to be the middle of three episodes to tell the story but it's the only one ever made and released. What you get here is Saya, a young looking girl with crazy sword skills with the task of destroying these vampire-demon creatures who hide in human form in Japan. She is sent to an English speaking high school on an American military base and all hell breaks loose on the night of their Halloween dance.

The animation is slick and stylish and the fighting and gore are plentiful. I'm not a fan of Anime. In general I really dislike it, but sometimes I'll see one that really catches my eye. This is now one of those films. After seeing the great things this crew did with just a third of their intended story makes me really want to see the rest. Too bad that will probably never happen. Yu's film version takes place in a different decade and tells much more of the story, but in a different way. I would recommend watching both of them for a more comprehensive view of the overall world. Good for Anime fans, non Anime fans, horror fans, martial arts fans, action fans and many more.

The anime version is here on Blu, or on DVD here. Also pick-up the live action on Blu or standard def DVD.

The Rock-afire Explosion - 2008 - Dir: Brett Whitcomb
Location: The Comfort of My House

What happened to the good old days of the eighties? The cartoons were fun, socks were taller and the pizza places were fun. One of my favorite places to go as a kid was Showbiz Pizza Place. This chain started in the south in 1980 and exploded into 200 stores across the country. There was pizza, games, beer for parents and, of course, The Rock-afire Explosion band. There were three stages in the main eating room and every so often the lights would dim and the curtains would open to reveal and animatronic band to entertain the kids.

Here's a great Showbiz Pizza Place spot I can remember seeing on TV:



As soon as the song kicks in on that video the lyrics came rushing back to me, as did the memories. I remember sitting at those long tables during many a birthday party with pizza on my plate and pitchers of soda spread about while I struggled to hear the band play over all the screaming kids in the game room. Those memories are vivid and wonderful. I have some memorabilia still like my 45 of a Beatles Medley and a Billy Bob Bear song "Roast Beef Sandwhich," a red Frisbee (both pictured left) and somewhere I have some pencils and an activity book if not more. Since Chuck E. Cheese took over and ousted the Explosion things began a downward spiral. I haven't been to a CEC in a long time but I hear they have more pre-made videos and less live shows. Today's kids just aren't impressed with an animatronic band like they used to be and that makes me sad.

There are some people who still look fondly on this band and have made it their life's obsession to own the full show in their homes. The documentary, The Rock-afire Explosion, explores these people and what they love doing most - watching the Explosion do their thing. There is a huge fan base and many of them not only collect the items like I have, their collections include the actual shows made and fully operational. These people spend thousands and thousands of dollars on the obsession and I must say it's pretty awesome.

One of the people interviewed on the doc, Mike Scherpenberg (those of you from my Rocky Horror days will know him as Slappy), is a guy I know locally in the Dallas area. Around five years ago I went to his house and saw the live show in his garage. It was amazing and I felt just like a kid again. It takes a lot of compressors to operate these life size musical animals and a special type of audio equipment that tells each character where and when to move.

The sad part of the film is seeing the creator of the group, Aaron Fechter, and everything he's gone through. His once bustling warehouse is now occupied by just him, and his raw emotions come out as he recounts the shaft he was given when they decided to sever ties with him and his company to switch over to Chuck E. Cheese. It upset me to the point that I want to go to their offices, in Irving, and kick someone.

Too bad these places are not still in operation, but at least I have the memories. If you loved Showbiz as a kid, or even if you know nothing about it, this is a great documentary to watch about a the best damn animatronic band ever!

Here's the film's trailer with plenty of Billy Bob, Fatz, Mitzi, Dook, Beach Bear, Looney Bird, Rolfe and Earle. You can buy the DVD at the film's official site.

Tonight was another installment of Dallas Cinemania's fine programming - One Eyed Jacks. This is a western starring Marlon Brando and Karl Malden, and the only film directed by Brando. I am not a big fan of westerns but I really want to support Eric, the guy behind the screenings, and I want to keep this happening every month. Luckily I did enjoy the film even if it is a bit long with a 141 minute running time.

Rio (Brando) and Longworth (Malden) are bank robbers who are surrounded by Rurales in Mexico and they only have one horse. Longworth goes to get another horse, but ends up leaving him to be captured and jailed so he can keep the two bags of gold. Five years later, Rio escapes and is on the hunt to find his old partner for some revenge only to find out he is now a sheriff in Monterrey, California.

For a film made in 1961 the print was not as bad as I expected after we were warned of some bad spots. There are plenty of slower parts that I think could have been cut, but at least the studio shortened the flick. Allegedly Brando's cut was about five hours long!

Dallas Cinemania has been bringing some great films to the area and has some good ones coming up - Shogun Assassin in May and Umberto Lenzi's sleaze film Paranoia in June. One of the things he has been trying to do to get butts in the seats is having a DJ performing before the film starts. In my opinion these are a waste of time and effort. The first one he had was before The Holy Mountain and they actually remixed music from the film. Last month and this month it has just been someone playing records. Yeah, that's cool I guess but too much effort when they could just make a playlist. For one, I was the only one in the theater while he was doing his thing until about the last five to ten minutes. People would start to walk in, look at the empty theater, look at the DJ, then walk back out. Second, this guy had full decks, a mixer, two huge speakers and a couple crates of records and he played for 30 minutes tops. If I were a DJ I don't think that would be worth my time. That is a lot of set-up and tear down for not very much exposure.

While on the subject of cool film things in the area, I just found out about another group who have had a couple of screenings and somehow I missed out on everything. They are called Horror Remix. Their goal is to take three films and edit out all of the boring story stuff and leave you with two hours of blood, boobs, gore and all the money shots of your favorite old horror flicks! Sweet, right? In the past they have done killer dolls films with clips from Black Devil Doll from Hell (1984), Ghosthouse (1988), Trilogy of Terror (1975) and PIN (1988); there was also a Christmas themed show with Iced (1988), Christmas Evil (1980) and Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1988) with the awesome "Garbage Day" scene. The best thing about these screenings - THEY ARE FREE! So, make your way out to the Studio Movie Grill in Addison next Wednesday, April 29th, at 10pm for some good times with Death Rock Part 1. Check out their ad and trailer below and I hope to see you there.




Horror Remix Presents… DEATH ROCK from Edward John on Vimeo.

Well it is official, we were approved for the rent house. This is great news. Fulci will finally have a big backyard again. Now he will be able to run around leash free, not to mention how much easier it will be to let him out to go to the bathroom. Right now we have to "leash up" and go down three flights of stairs and then walk a little ways so he can take care of business. I don't mind the stairs all that much, but it gets to be a pain in the ass. Opening a door and stepping out on the back porch will be a welcome change.

There are a lot of things I have to do before the giant headache known as moving can be complete.

• Fortify spots in backyard fence so Fulci cannot sneak through.
• Set up for my internet/cable, through Uverse, to be installed at the new place.
• Figure out if I need to buy and run Cat5 cable from the office into the living room.
• Finish packing (big pain)
• Get rid of stuff so I don't have to move it.

Another thing I need to do, that really sucks, is I must find a new home for my cat, Evilyn. Jenny is highly allergic to cats and cannot live with one. Usually when she leaves my apartment she is all sneezy and watery-eyed. I have no clue how to go about finding a place for her. If you, or anyone you know, would like an approximately six year old black cat let me know.

Once everything is moved in, any my office is all set up I will definitely be posting pictures for all to see, but that won't be until at least the end of May. If anyone is wanting to help with the moving process I'll gladly let you, ha!

Back to packing.

So last night was the big Leonard Cohen show. The day started off kind of meh. Computer problems, tons of people around Deep Ellum causing parking for our pre-concert meal to be a pain and the seats were not as good as I thought. Then the lights went down, the show began and that all went away.

This show was absolutely amazing. Not only did Cohen sound amazing, and do little skips on/off stage, but he played for three glorious hours. It is hard to express what a joy it was to see this legend on tour at age 74, but I am so glad I spent the money on the tickets.

The highlight of the evening for me would have to be Cohen's spoken word version of "A Thousand Kisses Deep." Here are the words for your enjoyment.

You came to me this morning
And you handled me like meat.
You´d have to live alone to know
How good that feels, how sweet.
My mirror twin, my next of kin,
I´d know you in my sleep.
And who but you would take me in
A thousand kisses deep?

I loved you when you opened
Like a lily to the heat.
I´m just another snowman
Standing in the rain and sleet,
Who loved you with his frozen love
His second-hand physique -
With all he is, and all he was
A thousand kisses deep.

All soaked in sex, and pressed against
The limits of the sea:
I saw there were no oceans left
For scavengers like me.
We made it to the forward deck
I blessed our remnant fleet -
And then consented to be wrecked
A thousand kisses deep.

I know you had to lie to me,
I know you had to cheat.
But the Means no longer guarantee
The Virtue in Deceit.
That truth is bent, that beauty spent,
That style is obsolete -
Ever since the Holy Spirit went
A thousand kisses deep.

(So what about this Inner Light
That´s boundless and unique?
I´m slouching through another night
A thousand kisses deep.)

I´m turning tricks; I´m getting fixed,
I´m back on Boogie Street.
I tried to quit the business -
Hey, I´m lazy and I´m weak.
But sometimes when the night is slow,
The wretched and the meek,
We gather up our hearts and go
A thousand kisses deep.

(And fragrant is the thought of you,
The file on you complete -
Except what we forgot to do
A thousand kisses deep.)

The ponies run, the girls are young,
The odds are there to beat.
You win a while, and then it´s done -
Your little winning streak.
And summoned now to deal
With your invincible defeat,
You live your life as if it´s real
A thousand kisses deep.

(I jammed with Diz and Dante -
I did not have their sweep -
But once or twice, they let me play
A thousand kisses deep.)

And I´m still working with the wine,
Still dancing cheek to cheek.
The band is playing "Auld Lang Syne" -
The heart will not retreat.
And maybe I had miles to drive,
And promises to keep -
You ditch it all to stay alive
A thousand kisses deep.

And now you are the Angel Death
And now the Paraclete;
And now you are the Savior's Breath
And now the Belsen heap.
No turning from the threat of love,
No transcendental leap -
As witnessed here in time and blood
A thousand kisses deep.


UPDATE
Here is a video of Cohen performing this as he did last night.

The Irish Festival is officially over. It is always a beating going to any big festival and dealing with the crowd. Everything went relatively well considering. I did have a few Disney World crowd/stroller flashbacks. Ack!

Today I decided to take Fulci for his very first festival. He was so good, I was proud. Behaved well with all of the other dogs, and did not pee inside. He even sat with Jenny for most of our set. Here he is with Jenny, Travis and Lindi:


I am pretty tired so I'll just leave you with a video of Beoga's amazing bodhran player, Eamon Murray, doing what he does best. Go n-éirí on bóthar leat




By the way, I HATE daylight savings!

Today I did a little work for a PSA at Sons of Hermann in Dallas. It has been a while since I've been there, but the place never changes so it always feels like you never left.

A couple of years ago I was going to an event at Sons and got there quite early. It was just a couple of people, the older woman working the bar and myself. I went to order a Jameson on the rocks and she said she was still working on stocking the bar for the night and had no ice yet. The ice machine was upstairs so I offered to get it for her. She gave me the keys and a large bucket. Three trips later she was fully stocked with ice and so I asked for that drink again. "On the house," she said.

Payment for my chilling efforts, I'll take it. Then as I began to order more drinks throughout the evening she always dismissed my attempts to pay. I ended up drinking well over half a bottle of Jameson for free. Sometimes it actually does pay to be nice. Remember that kids, and you too may get drunk at no charge.