Goddamn Brownies

Forbidden World (aka Mutant) - 1982 - Dir: Allan Holzman
Location: Micah's Home Theater
Horror Movie Night Selection

This week Brian, BTS Junkie, picked this film for his weekly Horror Movie Night and Micah, Marcus and I followed along here in Dallas. This film is a Roger Corman produced Alien rip-off, shot on the set of another Alien rip-off - Galaxy of Terror. Here there is a genetic experiment gone awry in a research lab in some remote planet and a space marshal makes his way to help out. Of course things go wrong and the pulsating lab creation breaks loose on a killing spree.

You can tell pretty quickly that sleazemaster Jim Wynorski was co-writer when there is plenty of sex with such a small cast. Plenty of moments of nudity, but what do you expect when you have a space marshal with such rugged good looks coming to the rescue of these women who walk around the lab all day in bright colored scrub-like outfits and high heels. The beginning and end of the film have a montage of quick cuts where they show the entire film. A very odd choice and the mix of that with a mash-up of synthetic and classical music at the beginning reminded me of A Clockwork Orange.

There is not only the Alien rip-off but a little bit of Star Wars thrown into the mix. A helpful robot named SAM, who gets way too little screentime, looks a lot like a Storm Trooper or Boba Fett. Then when the crew go out onto the planet their get-ups look a little jawa-esque. Not a bad cheesy space horror flick, and at 77 minutes it doesn't take much out of your day.

This will be hitting DVD on July 20th courtesy of Shout! Factory, so look for it then. No pre-order currently available.


Lunch Wagon - 1981 - Dir: Ernest Pintoff
Location: Micah's Home Theater
Alamo Drafthouse's Weird Wednesday Pick

After the Horror Movie Night flick we decided to watch the Drafthouse's pick for Weird Wednesday which turns out to be a great early-80s T&A comedy about some girls who are given a lunch wagon (from Dick Van Patten!) and set out to to make some money. They become a hit at a local construction, much to the chagrin of another wagon crew with a boss who wears leisure suits with trucker hats and spouts tons of great lines. Turns out they are secretly tunneling into a nearby dental practice to steal their large supply of gold, for gold teeth. HA!

Along the way there are many sexy moments, bouncing boobs and music from the new wave band Missing Persons playing their awesome tune "Mental Hopscotch." It's everything you want from this type of flick. While I enjoyed Forbidden World, this was the hit of the night for me by far. We all laughed and rocked along with the exploits of these girls led by Playboy Playmate Pamela Jean Bryant, who you may have seen previously in other hits like H.O.T.S. (1979) and Private Lessons (1981), playing Marcy. The cast also was swarming with Van Pattens! Not only was Dick in for a small role but both sons, James and Nels, had parts too. James even played the a buff construction worker/psychology degree holder named Biff who catches the attention of Marcy.

Many of the lines in this movie are hilarious. We could not stop laughing. One of my favorites is the crime boss extraordinaire's great pick-up line, "Rise and shine kid. Let's have sex, pancakes and get the hell out of here."

I cannot recommend this enough for fans of 80s T&A sex comedies, or Missing Persons. There are plenty of used VHS copies here. Cross your fingers for a DVD release, I know I am.

Alternate Titles
- Lunch Wagon Girls
- Come 'n' Get It
- Hamburger Girls


Hamburger: The Motion Picture - 1986 - Dir: Mike Marvin
Location: The Comfort of My House

What better to watch along the lines of such wonderful films this night then another 80s T&A type comedy. This is one of the wonderful food themed sex comedies that I know of along with Hot Chili (1985) and Hot Dog... The Movie (1984), both of which I will be watching soon. If you know of any other food titled themed flicks like this, please let me know. In this burger picture we have a college age ladies man named Russell who has been expelled out of every school around because he can't help but have sex with the co-eds, or faculty, instead of going to class. In order to get an inheritance he must complete some sort of schooling so he enrolls in Burger University, an intensive management training school for the popular chain Buster Burger. He must try and remain dedicated to graduating and making something of himself while hijinks ensue all around him.

In traditional 80s fashion this film is full of eccentric stereotypes. Russell's classmates include a nerdy burger aficionado, a womanizing roommate, an always horny Latin woman, a nun (!), a kooky fat guy and a black music star held to against his will to up their diversity. In one of the greatest role of his life Dick Butkus plays Drootin, a hard-ass drill sergeant instructor for this motley crew. There are plenty of wacky moments, and nudity, for fans of this cheesy genre and it doesn't get much better than when they get their test run at a franchise. Everything that does go wrong does including the arrival of The 400 Club. They are a dining group comprised of very hungry and very overweight members. They each order about 60 burgers and other assorted items, even grabbing food from the other patrons hands. Ridiculous and awesome.

It should also be noted that director Mike Marvin is no stranger to the food titled film. He was the writer of Hot Dog... The Movie.

This is another not out on DVD, but should be sought out. You can get some used VHS here.