Goddamn Brownies

Why the hell can no one at a freaking grocery store correctly sack the groceries?! Aside from Central Market and Whole Foods I never get anyone who knows what they are doing. Maybe I am just lucky at the couple of good stores, but they seem to be the only ones.

I bring my own bag to the store. Sure, I'm helping out the environment or something, but basically they hold more than the plastic bags and are easier to carry. When I walk up to the register I begin to stack my items on the conveyor belt in the order they would best fit in the bag. I have had the clueless put the goddamn eggs in the bag first! Is that not Grocery Sacking 101? Tonight the kid did put the half gallon carton of milk in first - on its side!

A couple months ago while checking out I realized I would need a second bag because I was buying too many bigger items. Right by the register they have them for sale, a dollar each. This goes first on the mini-Jestons walkway followed by the order in which the purchases should be stacked. Before she started scanning everything I haded her the one bag I brought myself. She opens it and commences to scan.

*BEEP*

One bag across the scanner - and she drops in in the other bag. What the fuck?!

I asked her what she was doing and she replied something to the effect of, "what do you mean?"
"I was planning on using the bag."
"Oh, you want to use it now?"
"Why else would I be buying it?"

I was greeted by a blank stare. Then the scanning/sacking process continued, poorly of course.

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I found a blog that I really enjoy and thought you might too. It is a New York based stand-up comic named Myq Kaplan. The blog is called Godzillionaire and what he does is combine words, like "Godzilla" and "Zillionaire," and write a short comment about them. Sometimes they are long, sometimes short but they are steadily funny and poetic. Here is the most recent post:

Analogy.
Jesus.
Analogesus.

Water is to wine.

Brilliant! Check it out, yo!